Hiii!
I hope I’m finding you in a peaceful moment, but if not, please find time to take some deep breaths and move your body. I return to these fundamental activities when I’m overwhelmed, which seems to be a daily thing around here.
In the last newsletter, I wrote about how cannabis is fun even if it’s medicine, and in the weeks since, I’ve found myself a bit lost about how it fits into my daily routine. Weed has always been a feel-good tool for me. I’ve used it to relieve anxiety, nausea, migraines, and to feel better, in a broad sense. Despite knowing it can help with all these things, I don’t enjoy feeling like I’m “self-medicating” when I consume. The term self-medicating has a negative connotation, but the cannabis space doesn’t leave us much choice. I’m not saying I want someone to dose out my products for me, but it’d be nice to have some science-backed help. There is no recommended dose based on my personal experiences and needs, just guesstimation, trial and error, and word of mouth. Because of the connotation of self-medicating, I don’t enjoy turning to cannabis when I’m sad or depressed. Maybe there are still some remnants of the stigma in my mind, but I consistently choose to feel my way through the sadness, and when it subsided a bit, then I consume. This method is fine, I guess, but I want to find a way to get what I need during the day without feeling like I’m doing something wrong.
I also find myself using cannabis as a reward for focusing or being productive when I could be using it to help me get through the tasks I currently have minimal motivation or energy to do. I know I’ve been depressed over the last month, and that’s made my weed and new glass way less enjoyable. It’s safe to say doing the same thing for a year is bound to make that thing lose its luster, but in this very stressful, quarantined season of my life, it feels like the last little thing I had carved out for me, no longer brings me joy and that sucks.
All this got me thinking about how my other medicine fits into my life. I find that my current behavior related to smoking is similar to how I take my prescription medications— I have spurts of consistency that make my meds effective. Other times I use them haphazardly, and it’s way less effective. The difference is, with my meds, I know exactly what and how much to take. Cannabis is the complete opposite. I love trying new products, but what I need now more than ever is a suite of tried and true products to calm my mind, help me focus, and maybe give a boost of energy. Right now, I can’t pinpoint where the medicinal ends and the fun begins, and I’m not even sure I’m reaping either of those benefits right now. I’m at an impasse that results in me suffering anxiously through the day with occasional CBD flower tokes and not consuming THC until the evening, mostly to come down from my high strung day. Maybe it’s that cannabis is no match for the stress and exhaustion I currently feel; I’m open to that as a possibility as well. All I know is, I don’t feel well, and I want to find routines and rituals to help me start my day feeling more grounded and motivated, cannabis-related or not.
As a self-proclaimed astrology stan, I would be remiss if I didn’t note that the planets have been hassling me to update my daily routines for months now, and I’ve slowly started doing it. So, friends, I’m coming to you in hopes of crowd-sourcing ideas for how I can hack my cannabis consumption and my mornings in a way that sets me up for better days. What are your favorite products, strains, rituals for the morning? I know I say this every time, but PLEASE reply to this email if you have any tips.
Occasionally I do a temp check on my IG story to get the vibe of the community. Today, my temp is low or high or whatever indicates that I’m TIRED 🥵, hence this condensed newsletter. I know I’m not alone in my exhaustion and general sadness because I’ve seen countless tweets affirming my feels on the Internet lately, and while it’s unnerving that so many people feel the way I do, it’s nice knowing I’m not alone.
What’s your temp like these days?
Thanks for reading!
Datrianna
P.S. - As the Youtubers say, don’t forget to smash that like button and share. 😊🙏🏾
First I want to say thank you for sharing and being so open about how you use cannabis. This has also been something I have been battling for about a year. My first thoughts were that it was because of the quartine that my canna use has been off, I would either go from smoking in the day to only smoking at night. I as of right I am trying to only use CBD in the morning or during the day and save my THC use for the night or when I finish all my work for the day as a destresser. So far this has helped a little but I do feel that I might try to switch things up in my routine because of my air sign life.