A tale of two cannabis worlds
How I juggle my desire to cover the legal market with my desire for equity
This week was quite the emotional rollercoaster for me. I had an article published on Weedmaps. My “Ask a Budtender” column was released online, and I contributed to The Strategist’s Stoner gift guide. While these are all great accomplishments, they caused me quite a bit of anxiety.
Let’s start with the Weedmaps piece. When I submitted the piece to my editor, I was so proud of my work. Still, I couldn’t shake a nagging anxious feeling I had about using Cresco as a source because of their reputation in “big cannabis.” That said, I also knew that many people will have their first experience with weed in a dispensary, and it’ll be with a product from one of the vertically integrated, multi-state operators that activists are working hard to keep from whitewashing cannabis. So, with those arguments sitting on each of my shoulders, it was hard to guess how my audience would receive it. As a Black woman with some privilege, I feel an immense responsibility to advocate for the most marginalized among us, and I also don’t want to be perceived as disingenuous. My wife reminded me that I’m doing great and that I made the right creative decisions, so I smoked and accepted that I did my best, which was quite good if I do say so myself.
The curveball of my week came in the form of a tweet from Chicago Magazine. Chicago Mag tweeted about my “Ask a Budtender” column and tagged my personal Twitter account. You’re probably wondering wtf I expected to happen when I took on a column in a magazine, and that’s valid. Still, considering I never share my Twitter handle and never tweet about cannabis or my work in the space, I was caught off guard. I try to keep my tech/design work separate from my cannabis work, and this was a clear blending of the worlds. The stigma of cannabis use doesn’t stop me from doing many things I want to do. However, I still try to be careful and keep my personal and professional lives separate. This separation is more so theater for me, as there is no such thing as online privacy, but I digress.
Seeing that tweet sent me into a light panic and I decided to roll with it, so I retweeted it. Did that make me more nervous? Yes. Was it worth it? I’m not sure, but hiding takes so much energy. I just want to be able to say, “Hey, I consume and write about cannabis for mental health, wellness, and fun,” and everyone just moves on. My consumption isn’t groundbreaking, and I’m clearly not alone because a few people reached out after seeing that tweet. Still, the idea of someone seeing it and judging me looms, and I have to make a decision about what bothers me more; someone judging my consumption or me hiding it? My gut says, hiding it.
If those stories made you anxious, you’re in for a redemptive treat. The Strategist asked me to contribute three gifts to their stoner gift guide. I recommended three items: The Mimi bong from Elevate Jane, The SMK Haus mug from Smk BRk, and a donation to The Last Prisoner Project. These gifts are important to me because they come from women-owned, equity-minded businesses, and I was honored to use my platform to amplify them. This story let me off the rollercoaster of emotions I felt about the Weedmaps piece and allowed me to bask in the joy of promoting three small businesses.
After some reflection, I realized that if I’m not mindful of the voices I amplify, my work is in vain, so the anxiety is warranted and reminds me of my deep desire to do right by the people who were locked out of the cannabis community.
Letting things go…Up in Smoke.
I can’t please everyone. My creative voice is just that, mine. So I’m going to work on quieting other people’s opinions (that I make up in my head before anyone even says anything negative to me) and focusing on my own.
As always, I'd love to hear from you. If you read something that you want to know more about or have a question, hit that reply button and let me know.
Cheers,
Datrianna